


we fall into the midnight

by dearlyuta



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 08:47:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15770661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearlyuta/pseuds/dearlyuta
Summary: Renjun will always find his way back home to Jeno's arms, no matter what.





	we fall into the midnight

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jenjaemrens](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenjaemrens/gifts).



> not to be me but i've been crying over noren for the past days so this happened. not really proofread but still, i hope you enjoy it!

_September 15, 2018_.

 _4:46 A.M._  
_New York, USA_

_September 15, 2018._

_5:46 P.M._  
_Seoul, South Korea_

Renjun knows that he shouldn't be awake at this hour.

But the phone ringing underneath his pillow disagrees with him.

Did he accidentally set an alarm? No, no — that's impossible. He remembers every intricate detail that embedded itself in his head. From the moment he stepped into his shared apartment with a fellow foreign exchange student named Chenle up to the moment he yelled over his pillows for his roommate to _stop playing your music too loud, damn it._ He clearly remembers how the younger boy only laughed but turned down his music anyway, lulling Renjun in a peaceful slumber as the melody becomes some sort of white noise.

He shakes his head, finally rising from his bed and notices how his phone just won't stop ringing. He slips a hand underneath it and pulls it out, his boyfriend's name popping out on the screen. The same name that made his heart flutter for the past two years.

He manages to hit the answer button and soon, the FaceTime slips up on his screen, displaying the screen of three of his friends sitting around a table.

"Injunnie!" A teasing voice comes from the side, presumably belonging to Donghyuck, one of his old high school friends. A flash of brown hair appears on the screen, followed by Jaemin taking the phone with the corners of his lips curled up into a sweet smile as he attempts to keep the phone up whilst swinging an arm over the black-haired boy next to him.

"Your boyfriend's been sulking that he misses you so much," Jaemin directs the screen to the boy that makes Renjun's heart beat ever so wildly against his rib cage all the time.

"Jeno," Renjun lays back down on the mattress, covering himself up in his blankets as he holds his screen just close enough for him not to squint through the darkness, "why are you FaceTiming me?"

"I-It was Hyuck and Nana's idea!" Jeno hurriedly says and Renjun holds a hand over his mouth, muffling the laughter that threatened to escape past his lips. Jeno tends to be adorable — with that pout written on his lips and his cheeks dusted with pink — whenever he gets teased for missing Renjun too much.

"I missed you. We haven't talked for a while and I-I got worried." Jeno stutters halfway through, mumbling an incoherent cursed word underneath his breath while Renjun, on the other side of the screen, can feel something piercing through his chest. It's painful, that's something that he can confirm as he watches Jeno admit how much he missed the older boy, even though it's only been three days since they last talked on the phone.

Renjun knows it all too well — he promised to call him when Jeno took him to the airport. Jeno's embrace was so, so warm and comforting that Renjun was convinced that he'd rather stay in the other's arms for as long as time will allow than to stay in a city far away from him. But Jeno, the ever supportive and loving boyfriend he is, urges him to chase after his dreams.

 _You'll be back soon,_ Jeno held on his shoulders and pulled him back into his arms, _we'll be in each other's arms again in no time._

Renjun, as much as he's embarrassed about it, actually burst into tears when the sound of his flight was announced, barely able to gather the remaining courage in him to pull away from the other boy.

_I'll see you soon._

It was the last thing that Jeno had said to him in person before the younger boy pulled him back for a breathtaking and sweet kiss. Renjun broke it first but he was dazed, euphoric even, as he waved goodbye to go straight to his flight.

But the moment he stepped on the grounds of New York City, the thoughts of calling Jeno flew out of his head, rushing through the gates of airport and meet with the man who's supposed to take him to the apartment that the university had ever so graciously offered for him. A certainly nice gesture that Renjun is aware that his father had to pull strings so his son won't suffer at all while he's there.

The next two days were a blur — fixing his things, meeting with his roommate, filling out any more important documents before he starts university next week. His phone is always at his nightstand at the end of the day and he contemplates every time if he should call up Jeno. It stays there, cold as stone as the weeks go by, only picked up very briefly to talk on the phone for a few minutes or reply to texts. He wants to call him again, hear his boyfriend's sweet and reassuring voice again.

But he's scared — scared of being vulnerable and being too clingy. Despite the almost two years of dating they've gone through, Renjun still has that small fear implanted in his head. That Jeno will just up and leave him while he's studying abroad.

But now, he wishes he should have taken the first step upon seeing the sadness written all over his boyfriend's face.

"I missed you so much," Renjun whispers, afraid that something or someone will ruin their precious moment together if he speaks all too loudly. He wants to take Jeno away and kiss him senselessly, hide away in his arms for a lifetime because he feels the safest when they're together.

"You did?"

"Of course." Renjun can barely hold back the sniffle and Jeno's smile is awfully bright and beautiful that it hurts Renjun to look at it. Just the simple look of it is enough to render him speechless, making his heart feel like it's getting squeezed tight.

"I always do." Renjun can barely hear the snickers muffled in the background and Jeno says something behind the screen, as if shooing away their friends for a moment. A flash of brown hair appears again and Jaemin and Donghyuck are quick to say their goodbyes before they move to another table temporarily.

"I'm glad. I thought I was the only one going crazy over missing you." Jeno picks up the conversation smoothly and Renjun has to press the side of his face against the sheets, silencing his own chuckles.

"Don't worry," Renjun flashes a smile at him, teeth bared as he holds the phone a little closer, "you're never alone on that."

"I woke you up, didn't I?" Jeno's voice is sweet and clearly dripping with concern as his brows knit themselves together, displaying his worry. He must have noticed the dark circles underneath Renjun's eyes and the obvious exhaustion painted all over his expression.

"It's fine," He stifles a yawn and rubs his eyes with his free hand, "I wouldn't mind waking up this early for you. If I have to do it every time then it's okay since anything is worth it when it comes to you."

Jeno's breath visibly hitches at the sound of Renjun's words and the older boy doesn't have to second guess that his heart's beating wildly again.

"When did you get so cheesy?" Jeno throws his head back, laughter spilling from his lips and Renjun thinks that he looks the most beautiful when he's elated. Just pure happiness. Happiness has always looked so wonderful on Jeno and Renjun would do anything to keep it on him.

"This is what happens when I don't hang around with you for days. Take me back please." Renjun playfully whines, nose crinkling while Jeno tries his best to muffle his cheek with a hand over his own mouth. Jeno adjusts the phone so the camera isn't that close to his face.

"I'm about to get up and buy plane tickets to take you away with me."

"Please," Renjun is falling asleep, eyes fluttering shut every now and then but he forces himself to snap back in reality with his blurry eyesight staring back at the painfully bright screen.

Jeno must have noticed, seeing how he went silent as Renjun attempts to snap out of his sleepy state every three minutes, even struggling to hold his phone up. Jeno puts down his phone and Renjun can't see anything, with the exception of the wooden table. All he hears is some rustling and chairs squeaking before Jeno snatches it up again to show his face.

"Go to sleep, baby. I feel bad for keeping you up." It's clear that Jeno is concerned, brows furrowing and a frown curled upon his lips. He tends to be annoyingly stubborn at situations like this and though Renjun hates it, he's still grateful that Jeno is looking out for him, despite him being so hard-headed at times.

"No, no. It's fine. It's almost time for me to wake up anyway." Renjun gets up from his bed, hair disheveled and it doesn't take a second guess how exhausted he actually is by the sight of the dark circles underneath his eyes.

"You don't have to wake up for classes any time soon. You only have afternoon classes, right?"

 _Damn Jeno and his habit of keeping track of my schedule_ , Renjun thinks as he lets out a yawn, running a hand through his hair before holding up the phone, eyes squinting through the darkness before he jumps to his feet.

"Fine, I'll go to sleep soon. But can we please watch the sunrise first?" Renjun speaks softly, partly because he's afraid of waking up Chenle but mostly because of he's shy to ask his boyfriend to accompany him in watching the sunrise.

"Of course, it's a ritual, right?" The way Jeno laughs sends Renjun's heart doing backflips and he can't help but allow a wide smile to grace upon the corners of his lips. He hurriedly wears his flip-flops, exiting the room quietly and makes sure to tiptoe so he won't make too much sound.

He successfully slips out of the apartment, hurrying over to the rooftop as he holds his phone tightly, barely hearing the soft laughter and squeaking chairs through the screen. His heart is pounding against his chest excitedly, just like the very first time when he sneaked out of the house and climbed his way to Jeno's room. Jeno used to have the perfect view of the sun rising in their old home before Jeno moved to the university dorms with Jaemin and Donghyuck.

Renjun couldn't forget that day — the feeling of Jeno's thumb brushing gently against his knuckles, the smiles and giggles exchanged between them as they kiss, watching the sun peek out and make its way to the skies. It was awfully romantic and it doesn't take long for both of their parents to notice their little ritual. Soon enough, they constantly have sleepovers and watch the sun rise together.

His head is filled with the beautiful memory as his flip-flops quietly hit the cemented steps leading up to the rooftop. He checks the time and hurries his pace, turning the knob of the door before he pushes the wooden door, watching as the skies slowly turn into a lighter shade of white and orange.

He holds out his front camera to the sight of the sunrise in front of them and Renjun doesn't even have to look at his screen to know that Jeno has that same awe-struck look painted on his face, a look that's consistent for the past two years since they started this little ritual.

"Wow," Jeno breathes out and Renjun elicits a chuckle, carefully holding the screen as they both watch the sun slowly rise up. The sight itself is blindingly beautiful and Renjun can feel his heart soar at the thought that this is the first sunrise he saw with Jeno on the other side of the world.

"That was pretty, wasn't it?" Renjun turns the camera back to him, facing a smiling Jeno on the screen. Jeno pursues his lips in thought afterwards before he lets the corners of his lips tug upwards to form a smaller smile this time.

"Would have been prettier if I saw you and that sunrise." Renjun's cheeks color themselves pink and since the light is bright outside now, Jeno can see it clearly.

"Shut up." There's no real bite in tone of his voice as Jeno throws his head back, sweet laughter spilling from his lips as he attempts to hold up his phone to continue the call.

"I miss making you blush like that," Jeno halts for a moment before his whole expression softens up, "I miss you, Injun."

Renjun's heart is aching and if he could just drop everything, he's willing to buy a ticket back to South Korea, just so he can feel Jeno in his arms again. He's going crazy over how much he misses his boyfriend.

"I miss you too." _I always do,_ Renjun thinks but doesn't say it out loud, for the tiny fear that he might appear vulnerable. But with the way Jeno is looking at him, starry eyes bright with that gorgeous smile of his, Renjun doesn't have to say those words out loud.

Jeno already knows, anyway.

-

 _September 22, 2018_.

 _9:27_ _P.M._  
_New York, USA_

_September 23, 2018._

_10:27_ _A.M._  
_Seoul, South Korea_

Renjun is mindlessly sketching on his pad, ideas swirling around in his mind as his fingers slowly begin to trace the lines of his boyfriend's face. His pencil moves along, leaving a mark of every trace and every curve on his paper, an attempt to recreate a masterpiece named Jeno.

His phone constantly beeping snaps him out of his train of thoughts. His slender fingers grip tightly around his phone, unlocking it and a flood of notifications pop out almost immediately.

His finger hovers over the newest one — a message from his boyfriend. The conversation pops out and Renjun can't help but allow the corners of his pair to curl into the widest smile he could ever muster.

 _Jeno: look who came to visit today! :D_  
_Jeno: [picture attached]_  
_Jeno: they miss you!_

Renjun stares down at the picture of Jeno's picture of his three cats. He was posing with them with his tongue stuck out playfully while his cats surround around him, gazing at the camera or at Jeno. Renjun can immediately recognize that he's wearing the white hoodie that he gave to him during his birthday last year and the thought of it makes him smile.

Another message comes running in, not even a minute later.

 _Jeno: they keep touching all the stuff that you gave to me!_  
_Jeno: they miss you just as much i miss you :(_

Renjun's heart is warm and filled with so much love for his boyfriend. Not a second later, another picture is sent through and Renjun arches a brow in thought.

Jeno was holding a white kitten in his hands, his cheeks flushed but it's obvious that he's elated because he absolutely adores cats. Though this one, Renjun doesn't recognize it — he's sure that Jeno doesn't have that cat before.

A thread of messages hurriedly slips through with an explanation coming from his boyfriend.

 _Jeno: we found him in the animal shelter!_  
_Jeno: i wanted to keep him but i can't take care of him in the dorms :(_  
_Jeno: but it's okay!_  
_Jeno: my mom is going to take him in_  
_Jeno: and guess what name i gave him!_

A picture suddenly interrupts the thread — catching Renjun off-guard as he scrolls through his phone. This time, the photo has Jeno, the kitten, and his mom in it — their smiles are wide and Jeno looks the most excited, honestly. The last messages are the ones that made Renjun's heart flutter uncomfortably.

 _Jeno: i named him injun!_  
_Jeno: now, i have a kitten to cuddle if i ever miss you too much_  
_Jeno: but nothing will ever beat you_  
_Jeno: you give the best hugs_

Renjun lets out a laugh, a palm covering his mouth to muffle the sound of his chuckle as he feels his cheeks heat up. He doesn't have to look at a mirror to know that his cheeks are dusted with pink once again, all because of Jeno's sweet words. He's quick to type in a reply, a wide smile tugging on the corners of his lips.

 _Renjun: shut up_  
_Renjun: you're making me want to hug you now_  
_Jeno: do it :D_  
_Renjun:_ _i'm_ _thousands of miles away from you >:(_  
_Jeno: virtual hug!_  
_Renjun: you're such a dork_  
_Jeno: but you love me still, right?_

Renjun stops after that, hands stilling for a moment before he softens up, a gentle smile lingering on his pair as his fingers type in another reply. He hits the send button without any second thoughts.

 _Renjun: of course i do._ _you love me too, right?_

Not a second later, Jeno shoots a message back. Renjun picks up his phone immediately from his desk and another chuckle escapes past his lips. Jeno really does never fail to make him flustered.

_Jeno: yes. i always will._

-

 _September 24, 2018_.

 _10:45_ _A.M_.  
_New York, USA_

_September 24, 2018._

__1__ _1:45 P.M._  
_Seoul, South Korea_

Renjun huffs lowly as he bends down on one knee, fingers tugging on the laces of his shoes as he ties them into a comfortable and secure loop, a triumphant smile gracing his lips at the result. He stands up and brushes a hand through his hair, checking his reflection at the mirror.

Not long after, his phone starts buzzing, alerting him and distracting him in the middle of fixing up a hairstyle that fits his look. He snatches up his phone from his desk and a worried frown creases on his face upon seeing Jeno's name spread out on the screen. He's calling in for a FaceTime chat and honestly, Renjun's thumb almost hits the reject button because he doesn't want Jeno staying so late.

He ends up caving in the end though as he swipes, answering the call and holds his phone up, seeing Jeno's bright smile almost immediately. He's dressed with a black shirt and loose sweatpants and he's wearing his glasses again with a book laying on his stomach. Renjun can't deny that his heart flipped at the casual yet gorgeous sight of his boyfriend, a smile instantly appearing on his lips.

"Hey, what's up?"

"I miss you." Jeno whines and Renjun pretends to be annoyed, rolling his eyes and huffing but a smile immediately climbs just at the corners of his mouth.

"I miss you too, dumbass. Why are you up so late?" Renjun is back to being worried as he watches Jeno attempt to sit up from his bed, groaning in pain as he accidentally hits his elbow on the desk beside his bed. Renjun is tempted to call him an idiot but he holds himself back as he watches Jeno wince a bit, checking it before going back to holding the camera properly in his hands.

"I was studying. Got a test two days later."

"Then go study, idiot."

The familiar nickname slips out easily despite Renjun's earlier attempt to hold himself back. Jeno, despite the casual insult thrown at him, throws his head back and laughs, rubbing his cheek with his palm before facing the camera with that enthralling smile of his. He's already used to Renjun's tiny jabs at him and casual insulting nicknames because he knows that Renjun calls him those in a joking manner all the time.

"I can't. I'm missing you too much."

"Gross."

"Sorry, I can't hear you properly unless you say, 'I miss you too, my handsome Jeno!'"

"I'm ending this call."

"No, wait! Just kidding." Jeno sulks, lower lip jutting out as he pouts and Renjun snickers at the sight of it, making a quick move to snatch up his wallet and brush his fingers through his hair one last time.

"Baby, I need to end this call now. I have to go grocery shopping soon."

"What? Take me with you."

"Jeno, for the last time, you're thousands of miles away. You can't just take a plane ticket and fly over here just to accompany me in shopping." Jeno continues pouting and Renjun wrinkles his nose at the sight of it. He hates that Jeno is so adorable sometimes that he himself can't resist the other boy and his charms.

"We can just continue the call while you're out shopping!" Renjun looks baffled at the suggestion, raising a brow while Jeno smiles brightly at him. God, he _knows_ that he's adorable and good-looking — he's not afraid to whip out his charm and make Renjun give in to his ideas.

"That's idiotic. Also, it's late for you!"

"Who cares?"

"I do! You have a test."

"Who cares?" Jeno whines and hugs the pillow against his chest before putting it down on the lap properly, running a hand through the strands of his hair before smoothing it down. Renjun huffs softly, attempting to ignore the way his heartbeat increased at the tiny habits that Jeno does — he can really drive Renjun crazy.

Renjun, after a moment of contemplation and trying to ignore the way Jeno keeps whining for him to give in, finally heaves a sigh with his shoulders dropping to display his defeat.

"Fine, I'll just call you once I'm there."

"Are you sure?" Renjun rolls his eyes but the smile on his lips betrays his real emotions. Jeno finally curls the corners of his mouth upwards to resemble a smile that makes Renjun's heart skip a beat.

"Okay!"

-

 _September 24, 2018_.

 _11:36 A.M._  
_New York, USA_

_September 25, 2018._

__1__ 2 _:36 A.M._  
_Seoul, South Korea_

"Thank god, I thought you were going to ditch me." Jeno heaves a sigh of relief and Renjun elicits a chuckle, holding up his phone to see if the FaceTime will connect properly. It's a little unstable but both of them don't mind, especially Jeno since all he wants to do is spend time with Renjun.

"My data is going to run out because of this," He sticks out his tongue before he lets out a huff, grabbing a cart and starts pushing it around while holding his phone tightly in his hands, "you're going to pay for it, Jen."

"You love doing going grocery shopping with me though. And besides, are you grabbing a lot of things?"

"No, not really. Just some chips and maybe a box of cereal... and milk..." Renjun trails off as he wanders through the aisles, frowning as he tries to see if they have the bags of chips that he likes. He turns his phone around so the front camera is facing the shelves, a deep frown creased on his face.

"Can you see where my chips are? I can't find them."

"Dumb, they're literally just near you. Look to your right." Renjun faithfully follows Jeno's instructions and a squeal leaves past his mouth as he eagerly grabs a few bags before dropping them in the cart. He turns his phone around again and finds Jeno smiling smugly at him, his glasses moving down to perch on the tip of his nose. He pushes them up and Renjun chuckles at the sight of it.

"Well, as much as I want you around since you're incredibly helpful in doing my groceries, this is getting difficult for me. Can I just call you instead?" The pout is obvious on Jeno's lips but he caves in immediately, nodding his head before Renjun shuts the FaceTime off. He punches in Jeno's number, patiently waiting for it to ring before a cheery voice answers it.

"Injunnie! I missed you!"

"It's kind of cute that you're acting as if you didn't just see my face a while ago." Renjun laughs and pushes the cart through the aisle, grabbing a carton of milk and a box of cereal before roaming around to see if there are any drinks that he might want to grab before he brings the cart to the cashier. Honestly, Renjun doesn't have to see Jeno to know that the latter is back to sulking again, simply based on his tone.

"Well, sorry, mister but I missed you already."

"God, you're so clingy," Renjun pauses and smiles slightly as he arrives at the drinks section, "I missed you too already."

"See? You're just as clingy as me!"

"We're the perfect match after all." Renjun decides to abandon the drinks section once he spots the ice cream nearby, eagerly going over to search through the sweet, cold treats. They have Renjun's favorite brand of ice cream but he can't figure out which flavor he wants.

"Hey Jeno, vanilla or cookies and cream?"

"Uh, vanilla."

"Okay, cookies and cream it is!" He snatches it up and he hears Jeno huff over the phone.

"Why did you even ask me?"

"Nothing," Renjun hums as he starts pushing the cart towards the cashier with the shortest line, settling behind two people, "just wanted to hear your voice again."

Jeno is obviously flustered, tripping over his words and Renjun finds it really adorable, especially when he knows that Jeno tends to blush easily at the sweet things that Renjun says to him nowadays.

"Stop, you're being too cheesy, mister. I'll have to fly there and arrest you for stealing my heart!"

"You're really lame, Jen," Renjun sighs as he finally arrives at the front of the line, letting the cashier scan through his items. He balances his phone on his shoulder pressed against his ear as he searches for his money in his pockets, hurriedly paying for his groceries.

""Only for you."

"Ugh, your cheesiness is rubbing off on me. Do I really miss you that much?" It's more like a question directed to himself but both of them know the answer to that. Renjun quietly takes the plastic bag once he's done, finding his way out of the grocery shop.

"I don't know, do you?" Renjun softens up and a gentle smile tugs on the corners of his mouth at the sound of the question, feet finding their way back to his home.

"I always do." Jeno lets out a soft laugh, muffling it against his palm and Renjun can feel his heart melting at the beautiful sound of it. He can certainly listen to it for the rest of his life.

"Where are you now?"

"I'm on my way home now." Renjun glances around before making his way down the sidewalk, trying to avoid the people making their way past him. Despite all the noise that the city is bringing, he can only hear Jeno and Jeno only.

"Good, I'll be waiting." He shakes his head, a frown covering up the smile he had on his face a while ago before he sighs, stopping by a nearby alley. He figures that he'll be safe here, hopefully.

"I might take a long time. Get some sleep now." Renjun knows the meaning of their words — this isn't just some walk back home.

It's them trying to find their way back to each other.

Jeno lets out a pleasant hum and Renjun can feel his chest getting warm as his heart melts even more at the very thought of his boyfriend.

"It's fine, I'll wait for you. No matter how long it takes."

Renjun can no longer himself back from smiling so widely. Jeno truly knows how to sweep him off his feet, even if they're thousands of miles away.

"I'll be home soon."

-

 _December_ _12, 2018._

 _3:24 P.M._  
__New York, USA__

 _December_   _13, 2018._

 _4:24 A.M._  
__Seoul, South Korea__

Renjun sniffles loudly, eyes getting blurry with tears as his hands start shaking. He tries to find the remaining strength to hold onto his pencil to finish his rough sketch for his project but he can't think of anything else — he needs Jeno.

Now.

He drops the pencil on his desk, fingers already snatching up his phone in a hurried manner as he scrolls through his contacts, heart beating loudly at the sight of his boyfriend's name. It's been too long — it's been months since they had a proper conversation and his heart aches for the younger boy.

He's afraid.

So, so afraid that he's drifting away from Jeno and that their relationship is starting to fall down. He doesn't want that. He loves Jeno too much to even think of letting their relationship burn and crash to the ground.

His thumb hovers over Jeno's contact name, his hand shaking as hesitation washes over him but he's quick to push away any remaining doubts and fears he has in his head, swiftly calling up the other boy. The sound of the constant ringing is not enough to dull the fear he still has residing in his chest.

He lets his gaze fly to the clock and his breath hitches once the realization of the time settles in him. It's way too early to call his boyfriend.

God, what kind of boyfriend he is? Calling Jeno early in the morning, not even giving a second thought if the other hasn't slept peacefully yet and —

All thoughts run out of his head once the calls picked up, a groggy voice answering it.

"Hey, Jun. You okay?" Despite the obvious exhaustion imprinted in his voice, his tone is dripping with concern and worry. Renjun never really calls Jeno like this — he always makes sure that it's morning in Jeno's place and that he has already woken up. It can't be avoided that Jeno is worried over him now.

"Yeah, um," Renjun suddenly feels stupid — he's really calling his boyfriend early in the morning just to tell him the most ludicrous thoughts in his head. It just doesn't make sense for him to trouble his partner with his worries.

Jeno lets out a soft hum and Renjun can barely hear the soft rustling of the bed sheets. He can imagine the other boy sitting up from his bed, hair still awfully messy, just like all the other mornings they've ever spent in the past. He knows that Jeno is waiting for him to open his mouth and to allow those words to flow past his lips naturally.

Maybe that's why he loves Jeno dearly. The other boy never pressed him or pushed him whenever he knows that Renjun is going through something. He knows that it isn't good for Renjun to add more stress to his problems so as a good boyfriend, he just sits there and holds his hand until Renjun can find the strength to tell him his problems.

But there are quiet moments when Renjun will simply snuggle up in his arms, head tucked in the crook of his neck while Jeno runs his fingertips down his back. Those are the times when he can't search for the words to say or when he feels like his thoughts are just a ridiculous mess that can be easily untangled. Those are the times when Jeno will take one look at him and since he's so good at reading people's emotions, he will only open his arms so Renjun can dive in them and drown himself to a self-made paradise in his sweet embrace.

But it's different now — Jeno is thousands of miles away and Renjun can't escape from not telling him his problems by hugging him. He wants to pretend that his blanket that's wrapped around him is the embrace that he wants to receive from Jeno.

"Jun?" It's quiet and despite the afternoon only settling in while the city's loud outside his bedroom window, Renjun can only hear Jeno's steady breathing and his own heartbeat shaking out of the usual routine.

"Jeno, I feel stupid. But it's just that, we haven't talked for so long a-and I'm scared that we're drifting apart. I don't want to lose you. I—"

"You're afraid that... we're drifting apart?" Jeno cuts in and Renjun holds his breath, cheeks flushed in embarrassment at his own thoughts. He nods his head even if Jeno can't see him physically.

"Yes."

"Injun, we're not drifting apart. We're never going to drift apart just because we didn't have a proper conversation these months." Renjun hiccups, trying to hold back himself from full-on sobbing but it seems like his heart just won't calm down. Yet.

"You're not going to lose me," Jeno breathes out a shaky sigh and Renjun shuts his eyes tightly, fingers finding themselves around the edge of the sketchbook, "not now and not ever."

It's silent, their hearts beating in sync as they try to find the right words that fate stole right from the tip of their tongues. Jeno speaks up, breaking the silence first and rendering Renjun speechless.

"Jun, if you're worried if I'll just up and leave or find someone else while you're studying abroad, then please erase those doubts because I'll never do that. My heart is not going to waver just because we haven't talked in weeks." If Renjun tries hard to enough, perhaps he can spin his imagination to the point that he'll feel the ghost of Jeno's hands on his. Just like before.

"I think about you every second of the day, even when my day is busy from studying too much. I constantly worry about you and god, even a single message from you is enough for me. You complete my day and I can never find someone else that makes me feel whole like you do." Finally, some tension and anxiety slips off from Renjun's shoulders as his body feels a little lighter. Jeno knows how to use his words well and make his heart feel like it's the lightest and worry-free object in this world.

"You're not going to lose me, Renjun." Jeno's voice is honey-like and so, so soothing that Renjun feels calmer. It feels like a huge rock has been lifted from his chest and he just can't form the right words to say how much he appreciates Jeno's presence. He doesn't know what he'll do without him.

"We'll work this out, right?" Another question and it's fairly obvious from Renjun's tone that he wants a final reassurance. Just something to feel like his heart has broken free from its vicious cage of ridiculous doubts and worries.

Renjun doesn't even have to see him to know that Jeno is smiling.

"We always will."

-

 _December_ _15, 2018._

 _7:23 A.M._  
__New York, USA__

_December 15, 2018._

_8:23 P.M_.  
__Seoul, South Korea__

"Wow, are you sure that will fit?" Chenle says out loud as he watches Renjun try to fit in his remaining clothes in his luggage.

"Of course it will. I brought the exact same clothes from Seoul to here so I don't see the reason why they won't fit." Renjun huffs loudly, pushing them through before hurriedly zipping it up, looking at Chenle with flushed cheeks before he stands up wobbly on his two feet. Chenle grins cheekily at him before eagerly stepping out of his room while Renjun struggles to carry his last two bags out of his old bed room.

"Can't believe we're leaving this place already." Chenle glances around wistfully, the bare walls that were used to splattered with posters and paint look painfully sad and lonely now. Renjun, as much as he's excited to fly back home, has to admit that this place did mean a lot to both of them. A temporary home while they work on moving towards their new dream.

"I know, it feels like home already." Renjun puts down the bags on the wooden floor and Chenle makes a sound of agreement to his words before he turns to the older boy with a bright smile. Even if Chenle tends to be loud at times, Renjun will miss him and his crazy antics.

"I know you'll miss me, Renjun ge so just let me know already."

"Ugh, in your dreams."

"Ha, so it's true! You'll miss me!" Renjun rolls his eyes but once again, a smile that graced the corners of his mouth betrays his real emotions. He gestures the younger boy to come closer and Chenle excitedly approaches him, only to let out a loud yelp as Renjun puts him in a headlock, ruffling his hair with his fist.

"You're so dumb."

"Let go of me!" Chenle whines and thankfully, Renjun did let go of him but not before flashing a mischievous smile at his direction as his arm slides away. The younger boy huffs loudly, running a hand through his hair but in the end, he decidedly wraps his arms around Renjun's figure tightly. Renjun is shocked but he can't deny that he really will miss the other boy — he's already feeling like that as he slides his arms around him comfortably, patting his back before they break the embrace.

"I hope we can still stay in touch. You owe me a tour in Seoul once I drop by and visit you!" Renjun laughs as he nods his head, locking the promise deep in his head, hoping that he'll really get that chance one day. Chenle spares him another smile, this time looking a little sad as he waves him goodbye, dragging away his luggage out of the apartment.

Renjun lets out a sigh, the heaviness settling in his chest momentarily but it sweeps away when his phone starts ringing. He's quick to pick it up, not even bothering to steal a glance at the caller ID.

"Hello?"

"Injun!" Renjun can feel himself melt almost immediately at the sound of his boyfriend's voice. A few more voices overlap and soon, Renjun backs his phone away from his ear as Donghyuck and Jaemin join in the conversation, talking animatedly at the same time and kept on saying _we miss you, dumbass!_

"I miss you too, idiots. I'm getting on my flight later." Renjun tucks his phone between his ear and shoulder, carrying the last two bags out of the doorway. He makes sure to lock up before he struggles to keep up with the numerous questions thrown at him as he attempts to drag along the two bags down the stairs. Damn this building for always having a malfunctioning elevator — Renjun is going to end up breaking his back because of this.

"Wait, hold on," Renjun cuts through the conversation, dragging the last two bags down a few more cemented steps before he lets out a sigh of relief. He's too preoccupied with his things that he didn't even realize thar Jaemin and Donghyuck are not talking to him anymore. He frowns visibly but it gets chased away as soon as he heard Jeno's honey-like voice through the speaker.

"Jun, I can't wait to see you again." Renjun can't fight back the smile from crawling to his lips as he passes the key to his landlady, briefly thanking her before he manages to hassle the bags past the doors. Luckily for him, the taxi is still waiting for him — he hurries over and gives the bags to the driver before he gets inside with a soft huff once he places himself on the cushioned seat.

"You okay?"

"Y-Yeah," Renjun glances at the driver and gives out the name of the airport before he responses to his boyfriend, "just exhausted from dragging my bags downstairs."

"Oh no, baby. Are you sure you'll be fine?" Renjun laughs and lets himself relax, eyes fluttering shut for a moment.

"Of course. This is nothing — if I have to do this over and over again just to hear you laugh and see your smile once more then I'll gladly do it."

"Wow, are you really Renjun? What did you do to my Renjun?" Renjun visibly colors at the way Jeno says _my Renjun_ but still, he huffs loudly.

"Shut up, Jeno."

"Ah, yes. My baby is back."

"God, you're so cheesy. I could throw up."

"I can say the same for you!" Renjun elicits a laugh and covers his mouth with his palm, cheeks flushed in embarrassment. They fell silent but even then, Renjun loves this. He loves the little moments where he can enjoy a stretch of silence and just admire every little thing about Jeno.

"I really can't wait to see you." Jeno breaks the silence first and Renjun can't bite back the smile that tugs on the edges of his lips.

"I can't wait too."

-

_December 16, 2018._

_11:35 A.M._  
_Seoul, South Korea_

Renjun holds his breath, a smile automatically forming on his lips as he steps in the airport. He missed everything about this but most especially, that one boy named Jeno who made him dazed and euphoric with a single, breathtaking kiss. He eagerly dashes through the crowd, not minding the heaviness of his bags weighing down on his back and on his shoulders as he attempts to find his boyfriend. He takes a few glances around, sweeping the area near him with his gaze.

No sign of Jeno.

He can't help but frown — he's expecting him to just linger around. He's supposed to be easy to spot. He promised that to Renjun just before they parted ways, that Renjun would never get lost since his home will always be just right around the corner.

He holds his breath and shake his head, dismissing away the thoughts clouding in his mind. Ridiculous. Jeno would never ditch him. That's certainly idiotic. Jeno isn't that kind of person.

The more he tries to reason out with his worries and doubts, the more the fear grew within his body. It's idiotic, stupid for him to assume that Jeno would leave him behind, to string him along while he was in abroad.

Jeno would never do that.

But after thirty minutes of wandering around, finding any sign of the other boy, his heart is starting to give up. This isn't the kind of reunion he imagined in his head — he was expecting for Jeno to wrap him up in a tight hug and give him kisses all over his face. Make him melt to his feet again, just like the very first time.

He wants to cry but he doesn't want to attract attention so he attempts to find a seat. As soon as he approaches the steel chairs, his breath hitches. Just a few feet away, Jeno is there, cheeks flushed and eyes wide as he runs around, holding a rather large sign with Renjun's name written nicely on it.

His feet are quicker than the way his thoughts connect one by one as he rushes through the other passers-by, his own cheeks turning red as he excitedly approaches the other boy.

"Jeno, you idiot!" Jeno is swift enough to turn around at the sound of his name and Renjun can easily see him breathe a sigh of relief as a smile curls on the corners of his mouth. His eyes crinkle nicely as he holds out his arms, letting Renjun slip easily into his warm embrace.

"I missed you, oh my god. I really, really do." Jeno murmurs as he buries his face on top of Renjun's hair and the shorter boy can only let out a soft hum of agreement as he buries his face on Jeno's shoulder comfortably.

"I missed you too." Renjun tugs on his jacket and pulls him close with a wide smile while Jeno mirrors his expression, his hands reaching out to cup his boyfriend's cheeks delicately.

"I'm so sorry I came late. It was so hard to drive here with all the snow around—"

"Just shut up and kiss me already." Jeno is baffled for a moment before he complies easily with the brightest smile that can make anyone's heart flutter wildly. He leans in and presses his lips against Renjun's, arms tightening around his figure to pull him close against his body. Renjun eagerly responds to the kiss, arms winding around Jeno's neck as he grins against his lips, leaving a few pecks on it afterwards.

"I miss you." Renjun rests his forehead against Jeno's shoulder briefly, just seeking more for his warmth. Jeno is obviously elated just by the sight of his wide smile as he keeps his arms circled around Renjun's body.

"I miss you too. I always do." Jeno drops a tender kiss on his forehead and Renjun can feel himself melt at the sweet gesture. He really can't get enough of his boyfriend. His favorite person in the whole world. His everything. His happiness.

They break away but Jeno slips his hand easily in Renjun's hold, their fingers intertwining as they exchange a bright smile.

"Are you ready to come back home to me?" Renjun glances down at their fingers and his heart skips a beat. He looks up again, eyes crinkling as he flashes the sweetest smile that ever formed on his lips.

"I always am."

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! talk to me in [twitter.](http://twitter.com/jenosaints)


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